LESSON 1
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff. and he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff. And he was also gone. The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"
LESSON 2
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand, "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
LESSON II: "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"
LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of –ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over he question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you ... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......???"
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind Of 'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee'am I ?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
LESSON III: "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"
LESSON 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, she said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you A wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so Contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."
LESSON IV: "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"
LESSON 5
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was In charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up: Brain......... I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood........ I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain. Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain. Legs......... I should be in charge because I take the brain where it Wants to go. Eyes......... I should be in charge because I let the brain see where
it's going. Asshole.....I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste. All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad. To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.
MORAL OF THE STORY: "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE"
Happy working!
Sabtu, 3 Mac 2012
Isnin, 20 Februari 2012
8 Steps to Organizing Your Life & Business
Your life is a mess!
Your business is going nowhere!
Your house looks like a tornado hit it!
Does this sound familiar? Are you overwhelmed? Do you feel like your life and business are out of control and going nowhere?
Well, if you do, you are not alone. Believe me, we all get this feeling at one time or another - maybe more often. There ARE ways of taking control and getting organized!!
Step 1
STOP!! This is a very important step so do not take it lightly. You must stop and step back. Take some time and figure out exactly what you want and need to do to organize your life.
Step 2
Go to "your place" and bring a notebook and pen. We all have a place where we like to go to ponder, think, figure things out. If you do not have such a place, find one. Whether it be the beach, the bathtub, a quiet spot in the woods or at the park. We all need a place to clear our minds and sort things out once in awhile. You must be able to be alone for this task!
Step 3
Take a little time to clear your mind and free yourself from all the "stuff" of life. Then you can think clearly and objectively. When your mind is cleared, start thinking about what you want your life and your business to be. Write these thoughts down. These are your goals. In order to organize your life, you must know what your goals are.
Step 4
After you have determined your goals, you need to write down the steps to achieving these goals. Each major goal should be broken down into several smaller goals.
For example: If your goal is to build your business into a success, break this down into smaller more attainable goals such as:
* Make website more effective.
* Streamline ezine.
* Research sales and target market.
Achieving one step at a time will build your confidence, which in turn will help you become more successful. After you get your plans written down, type them, print them and refer to them often. Do not let setbacks deter you. We all have them. Use them as a learning tool and a strength builder.
Step 5
Recruit your family! Yes, you can get your family to help in organizing your house which will also help in organizing the rest of your life. Hold a meeting and explain to your family what you AND them need to do. Assign each member certain chores and duties. Make sure they understand the importance of the task they are undertaking. This might take some time, but it will be very advantageous in the long run.
Step 6
Get started! The plans are made, the army is recruited, now is the time to put the plan into action! Each step will take time. Do not rush it or get discouraged if it doesn't happen overnight.
Step 7
Get rid of the clutter! If you have saved everything you ever got from emails to report cards - get rid of it. Keep only what you need to keep. Cleaning out the clutter will give you a feeling of control so you can take on the remaining steps more easily. It is a major step in getting organized!
Step 8
Do it again! Each day is another chance to get a little more organized and a step closer to achieving those goals! If you start feeling out of control and overwhelmed again, refer back to Step 1. Then get back into action! As each little step is accomplished, you will feel more in control and more confident. But even those of us who are in total control and meticulously organized, ( is there such a person) will feel over- whelmed sometime. Consistency is the key. Once you get organized, stay organized.
Make organization and planning a daily habit. I don't think any of us are or can be completely organized all the time. But if we learn to take each step and day at a time, the times we are not organized or in control will be fewer are much farther between!!
Author: Terri Seymour
Your business is going nowhere!
Your house looks like a tornado hit it!
Does this sound familiar? Are you overwhelmed? Do you feel like your life and business are out of control and going nowhere?
Well, if you do, you are not alone. Believe me, we all get this feeling at one time or another - maybe more often. There ARE ways of taking control and getting organized!!
Step 1
STOP!! This is a very important step so do not take it lightly. You must stop and step back. Take some time and figure out exactly what you want and need to do to organize your life.
Step 2
Go to "your place" and bring a notebook and pen. We all have a place where we like to go to ponder, think, figure things out. If you do not have such a place, find one. Whether it be the beach, the bathtub, a quiet spot in the woods or at the park. We all need a place to clear our minds and sort things out once in awhile. You must be able to be alone for this task!
Step 3
Take a little time to clear your mind and free yourself from all the "stuff" of life. Then you can think clearly and objectively. When your mind is cleared, start thinking about what you want your life and your business to be. Write these thoughts down. These are your goals. In order to organize your life, you must know what your goals are.
Step 4
After you have determined your goals, you need to write down the steps to achieving these goals. Each major goal should be broken down into several smaller goals.
For example: If your goal is to build your business into a success, break this down into smaller more attainable goals such as:
* Make website more effective.
* Streamline ezine.
* Research sales and target market.
Achieving one step at a time will build your confidence, which in turn will help you become more successful. After you get your plans written down, type them, print them and refer to them often. Do not let setbacks deter you. We all have them. Use them as a learning tool and a strength builder.
Step 5
Recruit your family! Yes, you can get your family to help in organizing your house which will also help in organizing the rest of your life. Hold a meeting and explain to your family what you AND them need to do. Assign each member certain chores and duties. Make sure they understand the importance of the task they are undertaking. This might take some time, but it will be very advantageous in the long run.
Step 6
Get started! The plans are made, the army is recruited, now is the time to put the plan into action! Each step will take time. Do not rush it or get discouraged if it doesn't happen overnight.
Step 7
Get rid of the clutter! If you have saved everything you ever got from emails to report cards - get rid of it. Keep only what you need to keep. Cleaning out the clutter will give you a feeling of control so you can take on the remaining steps more easily. It is a major step in getting organized!
Step 8
Do it again! Each day is another chance to get a little more organized and a step closer to achieving those goals! If you start feeling out of control and overwhelmed again, refer back to Step 1. Then get back into action! As each little step is accomplished, you will feel more in control and more confident. But even those of us who are in total control and meticulously organized, ( is there such a person) will feel over- whelmed sometime. Consistency is the key. Once you get organized, stay organized.
Make organization and planning a daily habit. I don't think any of us are or can be completely organized all the time. But if we learn to take each step and day at a time, the times we are not organized or in control will be fewer are much farther between!!
Author: Terri Seymour
Selasa, 31 Januari 2012
Happiness Is A Voyage
We convince ourselves that life will be better once we are married, have a baby, then another.
Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older.
Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we’ll be happier when they grow out of the teen years.
We tell ourselves our life will be better when our spouse gets his/her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire.
The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now.
If not, then when?
Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.
For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start.
Real life.
But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start.
I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life.
That point of view helped me see that there isn’t any road to happiness.
Happiness IS the road.
So, enjoy every moment.
Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten pounds, to gain ten ounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for spring, for summer, for fall, for winter, for the first or the fifteenth of the month, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn… before deciding to be happy.
Happiness is a voyage, not a destination.
There is no better time to be happy than… NOW!
Live and enjoy the moment.
Author: Unknown
Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older.
Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we’ll be happier when they grow out of the teen years.
We tell ourselves our life will be better when our spouse gets his/her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire.
The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now.
If not, then when?
Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.
For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start.
Real life.
But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start.
I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life.
That point of view helped me see that there isn’t any road to happiness.
Happiness IS the road.
So, enjoy every moment.
Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten pounds, to gain ten ounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for spring, for summer, for fall, for winter, for the first or the fifteenth of the month, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn… before deciding to be happy.
Happiness is a voyage, not a destination.
There is no better time to be happy than… NOW!
Live and enjoy the moment.
Author: Unknown
Chinese New Year 2012
Tahun ni dah masuk dua kali sambut perayaan ni..
Tapi pening gak la, satu tahun ada tiga kali raya..
Tahun ni Ida pakai Cheong Sam..
Hajat nak buat sendiri, tapi salah jahit lak..
So, malam Tahun baru sibuk gi shopping ngan mertua cari baju untuk Ida..
Cute gak Ida pakai Cheong Sam..
Rezki Ida, dapat 'Ang Pau' duit raya dari Keluarga Cina sebelah mertua..
Kitorang suami & isteri pun ada dapat gak..
Selalunya kalo ikut adat, kitorang tak dapat..
Maybe sebab Tahun Naga kot...
Weekend hari tu kitorang ada urusan kat KL..
Tumpang tidur kat rumah kakak yang baru dia beli..
Memang nak datang tengok rumah baru dia pun..
Malam tu kitorang keluar makan 'Sate Kajang'..
Banyak gak Ida makan malam tu..
Penatnya jadual minggu lepas..
Banyak sangat travel..
Puas gak la Ida berjalan ikut kitorang..
Tapi pening gak la, satu tahun ada tiga kali raya..
Tahun ni Ida pakai Cheong Sam..
Hajat nak buat sendiri, tapi salah jahit lak..
So, malam Tahun baru sibuk gi shopping ngan mertua cari baju untuk Ida..
Cute gak Ida pakai Cheong Sam..
Rezki Ida, dapat 'Ang Pau' duit raya dari Keluarga Cina sebelah mertua..
Kitorang suami & isteri pun ada dapat gak..
Selalunya kalo ikut adat, kitorang tak dapat..
Maybe sebab Tahun Naga kot...
Weekend hari tu kitorang ada urusan kat KL..
Tumpang tidur kat rumah kakak yang baru dia beli..
Memang nak datang tengok rumah baru dia pun..
Malam tu kitorang keluar makan 'Sate Kajang'..
Banyak gak Ida makan malam tu..
Penatnya jadual minggu lepas..
Banyak sangat travel..
Puas gak la Ida berjalan ikut kitorang..
Jumaat, 27 Januari 2012
Contest B To B Collection
Contest Terkini Dari B To B Collection
Maklumat lanjut sila refer pada link
The Secret Ears
“Can I see my baby?” the happy new mother asked. When the bundle was nestled in her arms and she moved the fold of cloth to look upon his tiny face, she gasped.
The doctor turned quickly and looked out the tall hospital window. The baby had been born without ears. Time proved that the baby’s hearing was perfect. It was only his appearance that was marred.
When he rushed home from school one day and flung himself into his mother’s arms, she sighed, knowing that his life was to be a succession of heartbreaks.
He blurted out the tragedy. “A boy, a big boy… called me a freak.”
He grew up, handsome for his misfortune. A favorite with his fellow students, he might have been class president, but for that. He developed a gift, a talent for literature and music.
“But, you might mingle with other young people,” his mother reproved him, but felt a kindness in her heart.
The boy’s father had a session with the family physician. Could nothing be done?
“I believe I could graft on a pair of outer ears, if they could be procured,” the doctor decided.
Whereupon, the search began for a person who would make such a sacrifice for a young man. Two years went by.
Then his father said, “You are going to the hospital, son. Mother and I have someone who will donate the ears you need. But, it’s a secret who it is.”
The operation was a brilliant success, and a new person emerged. His talents blossomed into genius, and school and college became a series of triumphs. Later, he married and entered the diplomatic service.
“But, I must know!” He urged his father, “Who gave so much for me? I could never do enough for him.”
“I do not believe you could,” said the father, “but, the agreement was that you are not to know… not yet.”
The years kept their profound secret, but the day did come. It was one of the darkest days that ever pass through a son. He stood with his father over his mother’s casket. Slowly, tenderly, the father stretched forth a hand and raised the thick, reddish-brown hair to reveal that the mother had no outer ears.
“Mother said she was glad she never let her hair be cut,” he whispered gently, “and nobody ever thought mother less beautiful, did they?”
Real beauty lies not in the physical appearance, but in the heart. Real treasure lies not in what can be seen, but in what cannot be seen. Real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what is done and not known.
Author : Unknown
The doctor turned quickly and looked out the tall hospital window. The baby had been born without ears. Time proved that the baby’s hearing was perfect. It was only his appearance that was marred.
When he rushed home from school one day and flung himself into his mother’s arms, she sighed, knowing that his life was to be a succession of heartbreaks.
He blurted out the tragedy. “A boy, a big boy… called me a freak.”
He grew up, handsome for his misfortune. A favorite with his fellow students, he might have been class president, but for that. He developed a gift, a talent for literature and music.
“But, you might mingle with other young people,” his mother reproved him, but felt a kindness in her heart.
The boy’s father had a session with the family physician. Could nothing be done?
“I believe I could graft on a pair of outer ears, if they could be procured,” the doctor decided.
Whereupon, the search began for a person who would make such a sacrifice for a young man. Two years went by.
Then his father said, “You are going to the hospital, son. Mother and I have someone who will donate the ears you need. But, it’s a secret who it is.”
The operation was a brilliant success, and a new person emerged. His talents blossomed into genius, and school and college became a series of triumphs. Later, he married and entered the diplomatic service.
“But, I must know!” He urged his father, “Who gave so much for me? I could never do enough for him.”
“I do not believe you could,” said the father, “but, the agreement was that you are not to know… not yet.”
The years kept their profound secret, but the day did come. It was one of the darkest days that ever pass through a son. He stood with his father over his mother’s casket. Slowly, tenderly, the father stretched forth a hand and raised the thick, reddish-brown hair to reveal that the mother had no outer ears.
“Mother said she was glad she never let her hair be cut,” he whispered gently, “and nobody ever thought mother less beautiful, did they?”
Real beauty lies not in the physical appearance, but in the heart. Real treasure lies not in what can be seen, but in what cannot be seen. Real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what is done and not known.
Author : Unknown
Rabu, 25 Januari 2012
Life Is All About Choices
Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood."
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or... I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," Michael said.
"Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."
I reflected on what Michael said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw Michael about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," Michael replied.
"Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or... I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
Michael continued, "... the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Michael.
"She asked if I was allergic to anything.
'Yes, I replied.'
The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."
Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead!"
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything. After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
LIVE IS ABOUT THE LITTLE CHOICES WE MAKE EVERY DAY !
Author: Unknown
He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood."
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or... I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," Michael said.
"Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."
I reflected on what Michael said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw Michael about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," Michael replied.
"Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or... I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
Michael continued, "... the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Michael.
"She asked if I was allergic to anything.
'Yes, I replied.'
The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."
Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead!"
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything. After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
LIVE IS ABOUT THE LITTLE CHOICES WE MAKE EVERY DAY !
Author: Unknown
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